WHO AM I?

Welcome to my page! I guess you can call me Rave. Boy I hope that name sticks. I don't really have much of an internet presence so if you're reading this, congrats! You're probably in some niche community I feel comfortable sharing this in, or I finally came out of my shell. Anyways, I'm 21 at the time of writing this and I am a passionate rhythm gamer. Other than that, my interests shift wildly and I dabble in a lot, and I mean a lot. Like how I learned html just for the hell of it.

FICTO LOVE

#1 Merasmus lover for real.

I don't really have a specific label for this part of myself, whether I be fictosexual, a selfshipper/yumeshipper, waifuist, or whatever else. Maybe there's some secret psychological reason I do it, all I know is that I have a genuine love for Merasmus that I have fun developing and engaging with.

MY TF2 JOURNEY

I have a bit of a complicated tf2-related timeline. I used to watch tf2 animations all the time as a kid and literally had no idea that the characters were from a game until many years later (I genuinely thought Heavy's name was Pootis for the longest time). There was a huge gap in my life where I didn't engage with tf2 at all, but for whatever reason I randomly remembered it existed and hopped on for the first time. And by hopped on, I mean I played the shitty 4 character tutorial and that was it.

Fast forward to somewhere in August 2024 and my Twitter feed was weirdly showing me tf2 stuff every so often. After remembering that I kinda like this franchise, I read the comics to get a feel for it. I literally read all of them within 2 nights and got super invested in the characters and setting and everything. So I did the exact same thing as the last time, except this time I actually played matches against bots until I felt comfortable jumping into a real match. Usually my average in any game is roughly 40 hours. Tf2 is at 150 hours and counting.

WHY MERASMUS?

The short answer: I don't control the weirdly specific interest patterns my brain follows.

The long answer: It didn't click with me the first time I read the comics. I personally need to watch/read something at least 3 times before I really retain all of the information present. That being said, sometimes my interests just kind of appear out of nowhere. I probably saw one piece of fanart or randomly remembered him and went from there. All I know is, for whatever reason, something was awakened within me.

And so it began. The search for content of Merasmus was dry and arduous. Come on guys, this is tf2, the fandom that's been fairly active since 2007. Where's the love for the old wizard? Maybe it was different when he was introduced and the game was still getting updates, but I digress. There's not much nowadays which means that this would be the first character interest I'd acquire where the only way to engage with it past (limited) official appearances was to make things myself. Normally I just end up dropping interests after a short period in cases like these, but this one was strong.

Let's backtrack a little and talk about what solidified my interest in Merasmus. I was lucky enough that, by the time I really got into this, Scream Fortress was right around the corner. I liked him before, but October 1st is when I truly fell in love with him. The second I heard his voice I couldn't help but smile. I got to see a side of him that isn't always represented in the comics. He's funny, talkative, and full of energy. I couldn't help but write cheesy love letters during every single transmutation. I played consistently all throughout October and am still sad that I won't be able to see him for another year.

And that's how I wound up here. I like drawing and writing, but sometimes I lose motivation and don't have any ideas so having something more straightforward like this is nice. I've been able to explore making content in ways I never thought of before. Plus I've always wanted to learn html but never really had a reason to. I'm hoping that not only can I make this a place for Merasmus, but also for the birth of a fun new hobby that can turn my list-making autism into something a little more coherent and engaging.